Warning: Rant post!
When I caught the bug for performing, I didn’t realize that it would be a lifelong illness. They should call it what it really is: a virus. When you catch a “bug”, it’s usually one of those things that lasts 24 hours, 36 max, and is mild to put it mildly. What no one tells you is that the love of showbiz really feels more like long Covid: there are good days and bad days but mostly, it just sucks.
So instead of finishing the post that I have tried to write for three weeks now about our first motorcycle rally in ‘Merica, and how finding common ground with people we may not see eye to eye with could be a healing opportunity for our country, I decided to write about what it feels like as a 49-year-old woman who has created art her whole life and had a mini-breakdown this week about what the point of it all was. This is what I posted on social media Monday:
It wasn’t a proud moment. It wasn’t compassionate of “fat guy’s” body positivity, nor was it acknowledging of the fact that all kinds of people create all kinds of things and what the masses may want to consume may not be the thing that you are offering at this time. BUT when you have spent the last 5 months straight, working on making the most upbeat, fun, happy, summer-vibe-feeling, Silk Sonic-esque masterpiece of joy to share with the world, and you see people screaming for the above…it’s a bit deflating. It’s deflating when you know that the Spotify fix is in, the R.O.I. is never gonna happen when you make a record because let’s face it, EVERYTHING is pay to play, and it’s really hard to get anyone to leave their couches over the age of 40 to go to your gig. (That last part I can definitely relate to, but still, it sucks.) I was having a pity party and all of my “followers” were invited.
But the Universe sends you messages when you have your tantrums about the life you have chosen. And this time, it was in the form of the Netflix special, “Remembering Gene Wilder":
“We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of dreams.” – Willy Wonka
How can you deny the truth of being called upon to be a music maker and dreamer of dreams?
We kept watching and heard the story of Gene having the idea to write Young Frankenstein. He had to do it and it had to be done in black and white to pay homage to the James Whale original. The studio said “no”. He and Mel Brooks found a different studio. Hurdle #1 climbed. Gene said that it was the most incredible experience of his career, making the thing that he dreamed up in his head and filming it with the genius of the other actors and the direction of Mel until…hurdle #2: he and Mel butted heads over “Puttin’ on the Ritz” with the monster. Mel wasn’t having it. Gene recounted the impass:
“‘You tap dance to Irving Berlin in top hats and tails with the monster? Are you crazy? It’s frivolous.’ And I started to argue, and I argued for about 20 minutes until I was at least red in the face, I think it may have been blue. And all of a sudden, he says, ‘OK, it’s in.'” - The Hollywood Reporter, June 28th, 2021
“I wanted to see how hard you would fight for it. And I knew if you fought hard enough, it was right.” - Mel Brooks
And that was it. My tantrum ended. In that moment of laughing my ass off at Peter Boyle mumble-singing “puttin’ on the ritz,” I decided that I am still willing to fight for it and therefore, it must be right. I am back in the “blazing” saddle to serve and spread the word of the creations that pushed us to the next level of musical evolution because THAT is the point. Evolution. And to release it for others to experience and enjoy. (Even if you are competing with a dancing fat guy with a jiggly belly for attention.) But the keyword here is, RELEASE. Releasing the outcome.
So, instead of me asking y’all to become a paid subscriber to this Substack this week, or asking you to come to our gig on 7/11 in NYC, I’m asking y’all to do something that will cost you nothing but clicks:
1.) Follow me HERE on Spotify.
2.) Take a listen to our first single “1983” from my upcoming album Oh Dang! and add it to one of your playlists. And if you super-likey, please share with others!
3.) Pre-Order our next single “Dancing Shoes” HERE which drops on Monday.
4.) Know that I am pre-emptively thanking you profusely for doing the above.
I love writing here. I love sharing. I hope I made you laugh a little or at least, smile. Because laughing matters…even when it’s no laughing matter. Oh..and as per the comparison to long covid, I have decided that today is a good day.
In Laughter,
LStL
p.s. found a great read here on Substack by The Shift With Sam Baker. An insightful reflection on self-identification.